Overcoming the Battle Between Worlds

Feeling Unsettled or Unstable in Your Life?

Stability is one of the most important elements in life.

Webster’s Dictionary defines stability as:

“The quality, state, or degree of being stable; the strength to stand or endure.”

Stability in my life has been compromised since I was a young child—whether it was a place to live, food to eat, or the presence of a mother and father to comfort us during our most vulnerable and desperate times.

Between the ages of six and eight, I remember feeling the Holy Spirit tug on my heart. It was like I had a spiritual “Spidey sense” that taught me right from wrong. My mother was a single parent, and we were mostly raised by our grandmother and aunt—both of whom were emotionally unstable due to the circumstances of life and their upbringing on the islands.

My mother worked hard to provide for us, but every time we got up, it felt like life knocked us back down. But she always had crazy faith. For most of our childhood, we lacked a father figure, the freedom to simply be children, and the means to express ourselves in healthy ways. This led to poor choices and ungodly desires. I wanted to chase the glamour of this world and used God as my genie. I’ve come a long way in my life, but I still have some things I need to work on—things that keep me down. All I’ve ever wanted is stability. But I could never seem to achieve it. Why? Well, it took me many years to figure that out. And now that God has revealed it to me, it’s my responsibility to make the necessary changes.

“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” – James 1:8

The Struggle Between Two Worlds

For most of my life, I pursued the things of this world over the things of the Kingdom of God.

I wanted:

A big, fancy, high-paying corporate job to live an easy lifestyle.
Purity, while still desiring multiple relationships.
A clear mind and focus, yet continued to smoke marijuana and drink alcohol.

I was trying to have both—the blessings of Yahweh and the pleasures of the world.

But I’m here to tell you: you can’t have both. Trying to live in between leads you nowhere. Eventually, you’ll look back on your life and ask, “What am I really doing? What am I really looking for?”

This is not everyone’s story, but it is mine.

On Being Selfish

Most of my life, people called me selfish. I worked really hard to be selfless—but over time, I realized something deeper.

That word, selfish, wasn’t just coming from people—it was God speaking through them.

Why?

Because if I care more about my desires than about God’s will, then yes—I am selfish.

If I want a big, comfortable house instead of going out and preaching the Gospel—that’s selfish.
If I choose a high-paying job over using the gifts God gave me to write and teach—that’s selfish.

For years, I chased money. But I learned that money doesn’t bring joy—only temporary happiness.

Happiness is a feeling. Joy is a choice.
And joy can exist in any circumstance, if we choose it.

The Danger of Chasing False Stability

Everything I chased for the sake of “stability” did the opposite. It depleted me—my energy, my resources, and my spirit.

God can appoint us for a purpose, but we can reject that purpose through disobedience.

In 1 Samuel 15, God rejected Saul as king because he disobeyed. He was supposed to destroy everything after defeating the Amalekites—but he kept the spoils and offered them as a sacrifice, thinking that would please God.

But God wasn’t pleased—because obedience matters more than sacrifice.

“To obey is better than sacrifice.” – 1 Samuel 15:22

Saul listened to the people over God. He didn’t think his calling was significant enough. He lacked faith in God and in himself. And as a result, he was rejected.

The Cost of Disobedience

I now have a wife and children—and I realize that my disobedience doesn’t just affect me.

It affects them too.

Every choice I made in selfishness or instability has had a cost—not just for me, but for the people I love.

The decisions we make ripple out, touching not only those around us, but also the people we’re meant to impact for God’s glory.

God requires full devotion and full obedience. You can’t live in-between.

I don’t want to waste my life going through the same destructive cycles over and over. Because the truth is—the older I get, the harder it becomes to obey. My heart grows desensitized, hardened toward God’s Word.

True Surrender

I’m learning that true submission to God means:

Praying about every decision
Fasting regularly
Giving Him full lordship over my life
Obeying Him even when it’s uncomfortable

If you want stability in your life, you must be willing to give up what you want, and trust what God wants—even when it doesn’t make sense.

He knows where He’s taking you. He has plans to use you in mighty ways—but you must surrender your desires and walk in obedience.

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…” – Ephesians 3:20

Biblical Promises of Obedience

Here are key verses that remind us of the blessings that come through obedience:

Ephesians 3:20 – God’s power and blessings exceed anything we can imagine.
Deuteronomy 28:1–12 – God promises prosperity and protection to those who obey.
1 Samuel 15:22 – Obedience is more valuable than any offering or ritual.
Proverbs 3:5–6 – Trust in God, not your own understanding, and He will direct your path.
Isaiah 1:19 – Willingness and obedience lead to abundance.
John 14:21 – Obedience proves our love for God and leads to deeper relationship.
1 John 2:17 – The world fades, but those who do God’s will endure forever.

Reflection Questions

Are you striving for purpose in your desires, or in God’s?
Are you serving yourself more than you’re serving Him?
Where does your devotion truly lie—this world, or the heart of God?
Would you rather sacrifice something to God, or simply obey Him?

Call to Action

1. Take a moment of silence.
Write down three ways you’ve been selfish—where you’ve chosen your own path over God’s and surrender them to him.

2. Make an intentional decision to study God’s Word—especially scriptures on obedience. Choose one verse week to study and memorize, write it on a sticky note and put it everywhere.

3.Use only a pen, paper, and your Bible. No electronic devices. Let it be just you and God. Remove anything that can cause a distraction. Listen to three worship songs on your knees hands lifted and thanking God and praising him then jump in. Don’t be surprised if he wakes your butt up at 3 am.

Final Thought

Stability isn’t found in status, money, comfort, or control.
True stability is found in obedience to God’s will.
It’s found in full surrender.
And in that surrender, you will find purpose, peace, and power.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, my Dad and Friend,
Forgive me for focusing on my own desires and goals rather than seeking what you have in store for me to accomplish. Help me to submit myself fully to You and to Your will, not mine.

Help me not to fight against what You’re doing in my life. Let me be in constant prayer. Align me with You. Help me to seek Your Kingdom above all else, because Your Word says that when I do, everything else will fall into place.

Lord, help me to believe in You more than I believe in my own thoughts and feelings. Help me to regulate my emotions and submit them to You. Forgive me for pursuing my own desires and the things of this world that will not last but be destroyed.

Help me to stand steadfast, and give me a deep hunger and desire to study Your Word so that I may know You more.

I ask this in Yeshua’s Name,
AMEN

Finding Hope in Job Loss: Faith Through Hardship

Many of us go through seasons of hardship—times when we lose our jobs or our business is struggling. I’ve been through both of these seasons. Though this is not the place I would choose to be, I have learned some things that have helped me grow. They have helped me to help others.

Amidst the uncertainty, God has given me some revelations that I am eager to share. These insights will help others who are experiencing this difficult season.

You can choose to use this time to draw near to Yahweh. This will allow you to embark on the journey He has for you.

Over the past decade, I’ve faced several employment challenges. I’ve been laid off, terminated, or furloughed due to budget cuts, declining sales, a lack of integrity in the workplace, and even the impact of COVID. Each time, the gap between jobs grew longer.

I searched daily—with anxiety gripping my heart. I would check my email every five minutes and apply to over 50 jobs a day, almost obsessively. Why? Because I was acting out of fear, not faith in God. And when fear took over, I became paralyzed—trapped in a prison of my own making.

Then the enemy starts talking.

He says, “Dude, how can God love you and still let them take your job away? He knows you’ve got two car payments, car insurance, phone bills, rent. DUDE—you have rent. Would a good God really jeopardize the roof over your family’s head?”

“He seriously wants you out on the street—or in a shelter? Man, you should’ve done something else to make easy money, because look where honest work got you: fired. You did it the right way, and look what that earned you. Now you’re going to have to use your credit cards. You’ll put yourself in debt. Doesn’t the Bible say, ‘Owe no man nothing’? Looks like He left you out there to hang, dude.”

“And then there’s the food bill, you are going to starve your kids man. what dad can’t even feed his kid”?

That’s when the biggest fear of all begins to wrestle with me: not being able to take care of my wife and children.

I went from having routine and structure to losing all of it. I used to put over 60,000 miles a year on my personal vehicle—constantly working, constantly moving. Now, I sit at home all day, applying for jobs. The sudden shift has been overwhelming—like an emotional roller coaster I never asked to ride.

Today, I’m here to tell you—there is a way forward. This is not the end, even though it may feel like it. It’s actually the beginning of something new.

Yes, I know that probably sounds cliché. But hear me: if you allow Yahweh to move in this season, everything can change.

However, I have a warning for you.

STOP.
Don’t run from the pain.
Stand firm against the spirit of fear.

Don’t try to escape what you’re feeling. If you do, you’ll only dig yourself deeper into a well of destruction. Trust me—I’ve been there. I’ve tried it. And I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t work. It leaves you broken, distraught, and desolate.

Instead, declare this truth:
“Yahweh is a God of miracles, and He can make a way out of no way.”

Let this be a season of faith, not fear.
A season where you choose to trust in Yahweh, no matter what

Exodus 14:26-28

²⁶Then the Lord said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horsemen.” ²⁷Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and at daybreak the sea went back to its place. The Egyptians were fleeing toward^[a] it, and the Lord swept them into the sea. ²⁸The water flowed back and covered the chariots and horsemen—the entire army of Pharaoh that had followed the Israelite’s into the sea. Not one of them survived.

I’ve learned that I need to give up control.

Control is a device the devil uses, and its name is pride.
Pride is a spirit that opens the door to fear.
Fear, in turn, is a spirit that robs us of our faith.

If you’re operating in fear, then you’re not fully trusting in God—and when you’re not trusting in God, you’re not going to move forward. Fear brings confusion. It paralyzes you. It clouds your vision and weakens your resolve.

So today, I encourage you: let go of control. Yield yourself to God, and He will direct your path.

Trust me when I say this: you are not the only one going through this.
You are going to make it.
Things will turn around for you, because God promises to use this time to refine you.

And once you are refined in full submission to Yeshua, the heaviness will begin to lift. Your mind will clear. Your focus will return. You’ll walk in peace, not panic. In purpose, not pressure.

Pray with me:

Lord, thank You for this opportunity to spend more time with You. You can use me, work in me, and through me.
Help me to remember the truth of what You say about me.

“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
—Psalm 139:14

Silence the voices around me, and let me hear Your voice above all.
Help me to walk in obedience and surrender everything to You—because, God, I can’t do this on my own.

I need You, Jesus.
Thank You for providing all that I need.
Help me to pursue godly ambition with a heart of contentment.

Amen.

Overcoming Distractions on Your Spiritual Journey

From a young age, I felt and sensed the pull of Christ on my life. I generally knew what was right and what was wrong. When I did things that were wrong, my heart would start to race. Even when I thought of things that were wrong, I felt anxious. I’d get this heavy feeling in me. It felt like a tug of war. I was caught between doing and thinking about what was right and what was wrong. As I grew older, I realized that God had a special purpose for my life. I felt really blessed in my personal life, even though I didn’t feel like I deserved it. Over time, my choice to follow God, or to follow God’s voice, faced strong challenges. These challenges came from the distractions of this world, things like popularity, money, girls and just wanting to be seen.

I didn’t realize that I was already seen. I was valued and favored by a king who paid a heavy price for my life. He loves me so much. It’s weird ya know, the very thing I was chasing I already had access to. For years, I didn’t know exactly what my calling was. I prayed and prayed for God to reveal it to me. He did. But up until now, I realize that the very things I chased in life were related to my obedience. They were connected to the gift I have. This gift is to connect with people. I encourage them. I make sure they know that someone is there for them. They are not alone in their personal life. You see, I over-analyzed things like, how will I get paid if I write. Basically, I wanted to start writing on Monday and have a book deal worth millions on Wednesday. I didn’t realize that things take time and success will come if you’re consistent. And if you’re passionate about what you do, it’s more about adding value to others than making money. So, by focusing on the outcome of something, I didn’t do anything at all. So I kept myself stuck.

As I get older, I start to realize that life is more about purpose. It’s about what you can add to people’s lives rather than what you can take. My pursuit for money and comfort set me in opposition against the kingdom of God. You see, there’s nothing wrong with money if you use it to add value. It can help build the kingdom of God. But, I wanted it to make myself comfortable. Part of the reason is traumatic childhood upbringing and the other part is bad decisions that I made. In the Bible, this is called double-minded. I wanted and still want to live both lives, and God is very clear that being double-minded is unstable. I realize now that my stability has been compromised since childhood. This was due to decisions made for me and around me. As I grew, I developed bad habits and incorrect and perverse perspectives. I trained my brain really well to respond or crave instant gratification. These habits led to decades of instability that affects me even now.

God has revealed the truth to me. It will set me on the right path. Yet, I have to make a conscious decision to follow it. I’ve started, but let me tell you. It’s going to be a journey of healing. After decades of giving into temptation, I often quit and gave up when things got bad. And I’m hoping to take you on the journey with me so we can experience healing together.

We all want stability and security. For a long time, even up until now, I’ve searched for it in fleeting and destructive places. These places set me back far from where I want to be. God’s word promises a life better than I can even imagine if I put Him first. So, I’m going to stop fighting Him and pretending I know what’s best.

Let me leave you with this today.

Our bodies are insatiable. It’s really impossible to please them. If they are pleased or satisfied, it’s only short-lived. We quickly crave something else that’s more potent and gives us a bigger escape or relief. The only way we can truly satisfy our flesh is by starving it and submitting it to God. That emptiness we feel will quickly dissolve. Then we have the strength and fullness to overflow onto others and give them access to the freedom we deserve.